Hard Head Makes A Soft Behind

A HARD HEAD MAKES A SOFT BEHIND

When me and my sisters were disobedient my mother with give as the “a hard head makes a soft behind” warning she got from her grandfather “Papa”. This warning was used alternately with the “look” that made us know we were cruising for a bruising. Being the baby boy and the boy baby she prayed to have to straighten my father out (it didn’t work), I often ignored the warnings.

My sisters have said Mama spoiled me. I insist I spoiled myself. I recall getting one whooping. It was for stealing a ring from a neighbor’s apartment (there’s a story there). I don’t count the time she pummeled me very lightly with her fist (there’s a story there too). And, even the whooping I count wasn’t so severe. Before she even hit me with belt I was whaling and saying “You killing me”.

She hit me maybe three licks. My Best Girl is as crazy about me as I am about her. 

Anyway, what made me think of that yesterday? Oh, I was thinking of reasons not to get into devilment. That was the reason that stopped me from getting into devilment and thinking about it. In Alcoholic’s and Narcotic’s Anonymous  rehab programs and meetings the phrase “play the tape all the way through”, referencing bad outcomes from “use”. How do I know? (there’s a story there).

What is important is that Mama’s warnings regarding my behavioral choices are still very vividly in my head, which is no longer so hard. I have learned to listen to that angel in my mind. 

As my 54^th birthday approaches (January 17^th) I am noticing a distinct shift in my thinking process. It’s more “spiritual” or maybe just less physical. No it’s more spiritual. Though I am the same weight I was through junior high and high school (145), for some reason it seems my belly protrudes far more now than it did then. And my chest… breast sag. Is a man’s chest called breast? Whatever they’re called, they sag. I thought about doing push ups and sit ups and stuff. Then I told myself I know I wouldn’t do it consistently enough to make a difference. And, why bother anyway nobody sees it but me. And, should anyone else see it, its not to the degree that it would gross a person out, but it would definitely be a deterrent to any ideas of an intimate encounter. But that’s not likely anyway, because no one ever really flirts with me like that.

Sorry, I got a bit sidetracked. What I was saying is that experience and time has taught me finally to enjoy doing what is right and viewed in its proper perspective, devilment ain’t all that much fun after all. You know up until about a month ago you might have argued that I had a hard head and I might have argued with you that I didn’t. Today, I hear and agree with Mama, a hard head makes a soft behind. And, I don’t know about you, but there ain’t nothing in life worth a whooping. Things to die for to be sure but to take whooping for… at 54? Nah.